leave me alone

i can smile all i want
bare bone disingenuously
go fuck yourself
you are horrible
leave me alone
its more than i can bare
leave me out of this
save your bullshit
i have to smile
im trapped here
you dont have to be a cunt
why should i care
leave me alone
civility is not challenging
just fuck off

Chasms

it falls when you’re not watching
it will float there when you do
all wrong and pointless
vast chasms between interactions
interactions that matter
that mean something to you
pain in the drop
rolling slowly in the chasms
prime real estate
for a connection to be built
fewer bonds forged with age
fewer still when pinned down
when accosted
the echo of thought in the chasms
it is a boring sensation
echoes and thoughts and interests
and echoes of thought
either repeat to fade again
or to die in your ear

Worth It?

If you cared for your life you wouldn’t be here,
my eyes are not worth your time.
It’s a crazy notion to think I’ve made it this far,
where am I to be when I am discovered?
When those around me realise I’m not worth it.
Picking at the dry skin around my fingernails,
alone and doubting my rhyme and reasons,
what would it be like to believe in yourself?
I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels,
a town centre is a world of dread to me,
naked and observed ad-hoc by everyone,
judged in the same horrid way I judge people.
Hypocrisy to a blessing and a curse,
the strongest shield and the weakest link,
always pretending
but I wish I didn’t give a fuck.

14/12/2015

endless ebbs a snaking a drowning
drained waiting undead
hopeful cords break my fall sometimes
a cold empty space in every room
the other they fear to converse with
some other variety of gloom
haunted by a homeless question mark
punctuation and grammar misplaced
a mismatch of tone and narrative
it aches all the time
soft cold air drifting down hard heavy
aimless pressure at winter dusk
the stationary feels heavy in my hand
rotting leaves rotting petals
branches out to catch and molest
bearing thorns waiting in dark
whispering on my neck we hate you
a poisoned kiss placed on nape
cliches in the dark as i walk home

Inside You

I want to crawl inside you and play
with what makes you human,
feeling through to collect scraps
and momentos,
things you need to live and things
you need to forget.

I’ll pretend to love and care for you
just so my hate can get close enough
to steal your coping mechanisms,
digging my nails in to scrape them out,
consume them while i’m curled up
inside you.

Shards and fragments to be stolen,
my missing pieces,
a patch work now where identity is lost,
how did you learn to cope in this world?
I’ll consume your insides until I learn
the truth.