i can smile all i want
bare bone disingenuously
go fuck yourself
you are horrible
leave me alone
its more than i can bare
leave me out of this
save your bullshit
i have to smile
im trapped here
you dont have to be a cunt
why should i care
leave me alone
civility is not challenging
just fuck off
If you cared for your life you wouldn’t be here,
my eyes are not worth your time.
It’s a crazy notion to think I’ve made it this far,
where am I to be when I am discovered?
When those around me realise I’m not worth it.
Picking at the dry skin around my fingernails,
alone and doubting my rhyme and reasons,
what would it be like to believe in yourself?
I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels,
a town centre is a world of dread to me,
naked and observed ad-hoc by everyone,
judged in the same horrid way I judge people.
Hypocrisy to a blessing and a curse,
the strongest shield and the weakest link,
but I wish I didn’t give a fuck.
The horrors of two mirrors colliding.
When the city collapsed into the lake
you left me alone in what was left.
My crystal eyes fell upon its fat belly.
as it screamed the names of every ghost,
every ghost I have ever known,
every thought that haunted too long,
every face that hated everything.
Depths invaded by the snide and hands,
sifting through seeds and flesh,
it’s not in here, where else could it be?
All stolen by the wrong one,
held down by the right,
down here is your castle’s future
and fate has fucked you senseless.
I have an irrational fear of my body being ripped apart like a wishbone.
I can’t stand cold, dark winter mornings any more. They feel like death.
I find the faded glory of urban decay fascinating.
One of my ambitions is to own a sound proof isolation tank, honestly.
I always feel guilty for being happy in the presence of other people.
I love black & white shoes, I don’t like wearing shoes that aren’t.
I find the shape of jigsaw puzzle pieces uncomfortable and disturbing.
I’m terrified of being in water I can’t see the bottom of.
I’m repulsed by my envy of attractive men, it gets me down.
I seem to always get worse at things the more I do them.