Being Other

Feeling overwhelmingly other,
being one of the others.
where are all the other others?
Lost in every metropolis,
drowning in the majority,
the majority of the minority
that the majority
thinks us and wants us to be.
A spectrum obscured,
disguised by the loudest of us,
falling between cracks
in representation.
Lost without reference points,
falling out of pigeon holes,
too much for some,
too little for others.

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The Rolling Heart

My heart has hit the floor and it’s rolling,
violent waves inside moving forward and back,
my little dread filled ocean of red.

It is sinking within itself over and over,
reaching the bottom to float to the top,
to sink again while it escapes me.

If only it would break but for now it just cracks,
hair line fractures on its cold dead walls,
mapping its way over its veins.

Wishing it would just come home and flutter,
to quiver with excitement once more,
tickled from below by butterflies.

Convalescence

This convalescence is false,
a lie within pills and time,
the faux-promise dispensed.

Deconstruction held distant,
patched up and sent away,
return for more glue and tape.

Talks needed and not given,
foundations left here to rot,
a house of cards built on top.

Quick fix to a growing problem,
wider and deeper, more filler,
digging deeper within the soul.

This convalescence is false,
a lie within pills and time.
Smile, the world is watching.

a miserable room

a miserable room
late afternoon death
smeared on the walls
the same old grey blue
all the dying candles
niggling neck pains
all the foisty cottons
chewed up fingernails
crumbs and dust
some papers wasted
a miserable room
and lukewarm me

Bend

The ground will forever refuse
to get close to you,
a fear the world harbors.
To live in the red stains
on the white,
environments made of accidents.
Weak at the knees,
failing with the ripe old age,
an ache,
a pain,
a screaming bend.
Never expect to find us again
once the lights go out,
you will hate what we’ve done.

perspectives

i kinda hate everybody right now
no exceptions especially myself
yes that does include you
a stinking mess of judgements
false meanings and false walls
your standards are not mine
a perspective around closed doors
our dicks are not the same
should i make myself vomit
maybe remove all my body hair
you painted this hell for no reason
only to whitewash it the next day
drum roll please as we smile
this may never happen again